


Generations of love

by bookaddict43



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-28
Updated: 2009-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-02 04:52:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookaddict43/pseuds/bookaddict43
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally written for the shiny_hats ficathon. Prompt # 57 AU: Simon (26 years old) and Jayne (40 years old) go on an Age of Love style reality show to compete for Mal's affections. Wash could be the wacky host. Jayne wins, obviously, since this is a Mal/Jayne ficathon.</p><p>Totally AU, crackfic.</p><p>Disclaimer: Firefly and all its characters are the property of Joss Whedon.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Generations of love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the shiny_hats ficathon. Prompt # 57 AU: Simon (26 years old) and Jayne (40 years old) go on an Age of Love style reality show to compete for Mal's affections. Wash could be the wacky host. Jayne wins, obviously, since this is a Mal/Jayne ficathon.
> 
> Totally AU, crackfic.
> 
> Disclaimer: Firefly and all its characters are the property of Joss Whedon.

“Your late,” Badger turned from inspecting his new stock.

“I’m early,” Mal retaliated.

“You’re late and where’s my cargo?” Badger took up position behind his desk and signalled to his flunkeys. “I seem to remember a deal we had.”

“The deal didn’t include us taking the only supplies left on the moon.”

“The gorramn deal was for you to do what you’re told and honour the down payment I made.”

“I ain’t good at taking from folks that don’t have anything to take,” Mal stared the thief down and reached into his coat. “Relax,” he nodded at the guards and Zoe who had tensed beside him. “I’ve got your down payment right here. Deal’s off.”

Badger’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll be missing out on jobs once the word’s out ‘bout how squeamish you are.”

“That ain’t fair,” Zoe stated. “You got your money back, there’s no call to be spreading rumours.”

“Life isn’t fair little girl and who knows how rumours get started,” Badger shrugged and tried to look disarming. “Unless…”

“Unless what?” Mal asked impatiently.

“Look my celebrity has meet with an unfortunate accident,” Badger smiled smarmily. “By my reckoning you owe me. All I ask is for you to be Captain Reynolds the daring pirate and all debts are forgiven.”

“Celebrity?” Zoe raised her eyebrows.

“Generations of Love. Have you seen it?”

“Can’t say I have,” Mal remarked.

“It’s the latest on the Cortex.” Badger said warming to his theme. “And I’ve got a finger in it - you’re going to be my celebrity.”

Mal was incredulous. “Your what? I ain’t famous.”

“I’ll make you famous. We’ll play up you being a pirate and that you were a Browncoat.” He took in Mal’s forbidding frown and Zoe’s drawn together eyebrows and added hastily. “Just the pirate bit then. Don’t you worry I can do that bit.”

“I ain’t worrying; because I’m not going to do it.”

“Let’s be honest here shall we,” Badger waved his hand at them. “I know that mine isn’t the only job lately that hasn’t gone smooth for you and how much coin you don’t have. I’m willing to forget this little fiasco of you owing me money in return for you taking part in my show. I’ll even throw in some fuel at the end and food for your crew while you’re busy. What do you say?

Mal exchanged a look with his second in command and mentally shrugged.

Unfortunately the thief was right; they didn’t even have enough fuel to make it out of the atmosphere and their food stores were down to the nubbins. Much as he didn’t like the idea, maybe he should play along with it and see what happened. “Alright,” he sighed. “What do I have to do?”

****************

“Ow,” the man fell to the ground clutching his leg. “Gorramn it Jayne what’d you do that for?”

“You didn’t pay me my share,” Jayne cocked his gun at Rafe who, as usual, was way too late raising his weapon.

“I’m goin’ too I swear,” the injured man whined.

“When?” Jayne demanded.

“Well…” his erstwhile boss trailed off.

“That’s what I thought,” Jayne scowled at him. “Get yourself another tracker; I’m done with this deal.”

“I’ll pay you seven per cent, that’s the goin’ rate these days.”

“You can’t even pay me the five ya owe me,” Jayne shook his head in disgust and keeping his gun pointed at Rafe, picked up his bags. “You're one of the worst Captains I ever met Marco, and that’s sayin’ somethin’.” Shouldering his bags and ignoring the whining protests behind him, Jayne strode off.

Truth to tell, except for the fact he had no coin, he weren’t too unhappy to be leaving the flying death trap Marco called a ship. It’d been the worst in a long line of bad ships and hopeless Captains. They hadn’t had a decent score in months. Rafe, who he shared a bunk with, was the biggest slob in the ‘Verse and kept trying to touch Jayne’s guns, and the food was rutting awful.

Of course right now he had no money, nowhere to stay and nothing to eat. He could go see Trixie at the whorehouse. She always put him up and found him some sort of work… Jayne’s thoughts trailed off as he caught sight of a poster on the wall and his eyes fastened on the important words – free accommodation.

He read on, lips moving as he stumbled over the words. It was one of those dating shows where you had to compete for someone’s attention. But he weren’t worried ‘bout that – he didn’t care if he won or not, it was the perks that was interesting him.

Folks on those shows were always desperate so there might be some free trim around; there was a bed, food and some coin, even for the losers. Even if he lasted only a couple of days and made some coin, he could look round for a better berth this time. One where the ship was really space worthy and they actually got jobs, and he could hang up his guns and they wouldn’t get pawed over or stole.

Jayne took note of the address on the poster and headed straight over there. Flinging open the door he stepped up to the welcome desk and growled. “Where do I sign up?”

****************

“Look kid,” the unsavoury mercenary growled at Simon. “I ain’t in the charity business. You pay now and I’ll do it tomorrow, otherwise – no deal.”

Simon looked at him thoughtfully. He’d considered appealing to the man’s finer feelings, but doubted he had any. He questioned whether his choice had enough brains to carry out the mission anyway. “No deal.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I can’t pay now,” Simon sighed in defeat. He had no idea what he was going to do now. He had hardly any money left, had run through most of the contacts he’d found and lost any hope in the mercenary in front of him.

“No skin off my nose pal,” the man shrugged and left quickly, leaving Simon to gaze vacantly at the Cortex screen.

He had no idea how long he sat there till he became aware of the conversation around him.

“Reynolds is crazy; you never know which way he’s going to jump.”

“He gets noble at all the wrong moments.”

“Noble, smoble,” the other man snorted. “What’s he doin’ on that stupid show then?”

Simon focused on the Cortex screen to see an advertisement for one of those cheesy finding love type shows. The man pictured had a strong jaw, eyes that had seen a lot and something dependable about him.

“He had to do it,” the first man spoke. “He owes Badger – got all noble see and didn’t steal what he was supposed to steal.”

“I told you he was crazy…”

Although he rarely used it, Simon had no illusions about his appeal for certain men. If he could get Captain Reynolds interested enough in him, maybe he could persuade him to take part in his mission.

“Excuse me,” Simon broke in. “Can you tell me how to get to the studio they’re advertising?”

****************

Food! Real food! Jayne chewed enthusiastically while he assessed the other men in the room.

Jayne weren’t fussy ‘bout the sex of the person sexing him. Long as they was clean, willing to share the fun and weren’t into commitment, then he was ready to enjoy the fucking. It didn’t bother him none that this was a sly dating show. Some of the tasty here in this room was a powerful turn-on. Jayne studied them from under his eyelashes and tried to decide which one to approach first.

He weren’t really into boys nearly young enough to be his kid, no matter how gorramn beautiful they were. The older man didn’t kick start his motor neither. The other two fellas were more his style.

The blond one on the couch had been staring at his muscles since he came in the room and had already talked dirty a couple of times. The one in the suit was all kinds of shiny, but he weren’t talking to no-one and was real stiff and proper. Jayne sort of wanted to go over and ruffle him up some.

Standing up, he headed over toward his prey, but was diverted when the curtains opened. Standing outside beside the pool was the fella him and the others was supposed to be competing for. Jayne stared for a minute, and then licked his lips. Now that was more like it.

****************

Mal stood beside the pool and tried to contain his rising impatience. Badger had conveniently forgotten to tell him that this was a sly dating show.

Though he preferred women mostly; he weren’t no stranger to the male body. Years in the army and out in the Black had given him an appreciation for man parts and he wasn’t averse to using them if he needed. It was just that, in general, he was harder to please with men than women. Lucky he had a script to use to talk with this lot he reflected.

The first two men were typical planet dwelling types; one very young and one much older. Neither of them had anything interesting to say and he had a hard time answering them at all.

The third one caught Mal’s attention; early twenties, core-bred by the look of things, pretty mouth, shiny hair and an innocent look that kind of appealed.

“I’m Simon,” he said. “I’m a doctor and don’t get to meet many men outside my field. I’ve been so focused on my work that I’ve neglected the social side of life for too long. This show and meeting you gives me the opportunity to rectify that.”

“Thank you Simon,” Mal shook the soft hand held out to him. “Let’s work together to see what we can achieve.” He smiled at the departing doctor and looked with horror at the next man approaching.

“Oh hi!” The blond bombshell bounced up to him and gave him an enthusiastic hug. “My name is Bruce and I just love that you’re a pirate. I’m here because people always take one look at me and dismiss me as an airhead. They never see past the good looks or the bod, but I’m betting you will. You handsome man you,” the man squeezed Mal’s bicep and fluttered his eyelids.

“Ah,” Mal gurgled.

“Since we’re so close in age, I bet we have lots in common,” Bruce continued blithely. “And I’m open to anything sexual you care to suggest.”

“That’s good,” Mal mumbled as the man walked away. _What had he got himself into?_ he wondered desperately.

His attention perked up again when he spied the large form standing in the doorway. The man was tall and built broad, the muscles on his arms standing out in clear definition. Mal’s eyes widened as the big man strode toward him and reluctantly held out his hand. Bemused, he clasped the calloused palm back and waited for the spiel to begin.

“Jayne,” the big man nodded briefly and wheeled away, leaving Mal to stare after him appreciatively. Now that was the sort of talking he understood.

****************

Mal sighed and glanced around at the opulent restaurant. This was the third such place that he’d been to and he was getting tired of the sterile perfection of everything. But he didn’t want to disappoint the boy who was looking at him anxiously. So he smiled, sat down at the table, placed the napkin on his lap and waited for the seduction to begin.

Simon had planned his evening carefully. Tonight was his last real chance at winning Mal to his cause and he was determined that everything should go smoothly. He’d picked the restaurant and the menu with an eye for what he thought the Firefly Captain would like.

It had gone well he thought. Mal had obviously enjoyed the food and had relaxed enough to have several glasses of wine. They had had an unexceptional conversation and he, Simon, had managed not to make a mistake once. Emboldened by his success, he continued his seduction technique when they returned to the house.

Sinking down on the couch beside Mal, Simon leant closer and kissed the Captain’s lips. He was so relieved when Mal returned the pressure and settled a hand on his shoulder.

“Simon,” Mal pushed him away firmly. “I aint saying your not interested,” Mal glanced downwards. “’Cause I can plainly see you are.”

Simon blushed and turned away discreetly. “Ummm.”

“But,” the Captain continued. “I get the feeling I’m not your main focus. So let’s be truthsome here and tell me what’s going on.”

****************

“Is this the place then?” Mal stepped into the room and looked around.

“Yeah,” Jayne nodded.

He could guess the sort of places the others had taken Mal to. But he weren’t one for all that go se and didn’t think that Mal was either. ‘Sides the man was showing all the signs of cabin fever, Jayne figured it was his duty to take him out for a proper good time. But now he was wondering. Mal was still standing there staring around and not saying anything. “Ain’t it ok?” he asked doubtfully.

“It’s all kinds of ok,” Mal slapped him on the shoulder. “Let’s go play pool.”

He shoulda known Mal would be a mighty fine hustler, Jayne thought as he watched him talking to their mark. He was a pretty good pool player too and they’d teamed up good without even having to talk ‘bout it first.

‘Course that was before Mal accepted his dare and lifted the fella’s wallet. Jayne sidled closer and blocked the punch that sailed straight at Mal’s face. “You ain’t real good at that part, are you?” he asked, picking up a discarded pool cue.

Mal popped a punch into his opponent’s face and watched Jayne decimate three men at once with a pool cue. The man was right handy in a fight that was for sure.

“Mal!” the man in question bellowed, and he ducked as a chair swung over his head. Sweeping his leg back he knocked his attacker to the floor and jumped up to help Jayne with the next wave. Together they fought off the rest of the bunch of sore losers and took to their heels before they could re-group.

“Here,” Jayne ducked into a building and up the stairs, coming to a halt outside one of the rooms.

“Mighty fine tussle,” Mal nodded at Jayne, a flickering grin on his lips.

“Sure was,” Jayne agreed. Mal was looking all manner of hot there with his hair ruffled and the light of battle still in his eyes. Jayne taking matters into his own hands, seized the man by the collar, swung him into the room behind them, and stuck his hand down the front of those tight pants.

Not to be outdone, Mal pulled Jayne’s shirt out from his waistband and ran his hands over that solid chest. “Isn’t this kinda sudden?”

“Nope,” Jayne nipped at Mal’s neck and flicked open the buttons of his fly. “Been interested in this since day one and you know it.”

“Hmmmmm,” Mal didn’t get to say anything else except to gasp when Jayne pushed him onto the bed and swallowed his cock almost in one movement.

****************

Mal lay still and listened to Jayne breathing as he slept. One big arm was holding onto his pillow, the other was draped over Mal’s chest, effectively stopping him from get away. Not that he wanted to escape. Mal stretched contentedly and winced. The night they’d spent together had been satisfying in more ways than one. He didn’t think he’d ever been more thoroughly sexed or worn out from exertions of his own.

Smiling quietly, he trailed his fingers over Jayne’s chest and was rewarded when the man opened his eyes and looked at him.

“It occurs to me that I don’t know where we are,” Mal looked around the comfortable room curiously, taking stock of his surroundings.

Jayne stretched and pulled him down onto his chest. “Trixie’s whorehouse, she keeps this room for me.”

“Should I be jealous?”

“Nah,” Jayne grinned. “We go back aways is all. I usually bunk here when I’m in town.”

“So what were you doing at the show then?” Mal asked.

Jayne sighed. “I saw a chance for free sex, food and a bed. I didn’t have none of those, so I joined up.”

“What do you usually do? When you ain’t sexing a man blind that is.”

“Ships’ merc mostly,” Jayne shrugged. “Can shoot real good, track, you already seen I can fight. I never have trouble getting a job. I just ain’t all that good at planning things or picking the right Captain,” he said added remembering Marco and some of the others before him.

“I could do with a capable gun-hand on board,” Mal hand slid down to palm Jayne’s balls. “You’d get ten per cent, your own bunk if you don’t want to share, the run of the kitchen and some place to hang your guns.”

“Sounds alright,” Jayne groaned at Mal’s touch. “That bunk I’d share - would that be with you?”

****************

Badger sat at the table alternately taking bites from his meal and studying his accounts. It was inspired putting Malcolm Reynolds on Generations he mused; the show was making him good money. He’d made more than twice the cost of the original lost cargo and stood to make lots more. His happy thoughts of going back to the old country and lording it over them were interrupted by the sudden crash of the door being slammed against the wall.

“Show’s over,” Mal smiled and pointed his pistol at him calmly while the big, dumb one from the show took out all three of his guards.

“There’s still two episodes to go,” the little man unconcernedly kept eating. “You haven’t chosen yet, that’s the exciting part.”

“Yes I have,” Mal grinned at the mercenary beside him. “It was mighty exciting too. But now we got other things that need doing.”

Jayne leered back and glared down at the man seated at the table. “Can’t do nothing while we’re standing here making useless chit chat.”

“We had an agreement Captain Reynolds,” Badger reminded him.

“That we did,” Mal agreed. “And by my calculations, I’ve earned what we lost you, what you’ve paid in food, plus double.”

“So if you just give the Captain his earnings,” Jayne reached over and grabbed Badger by the throat hoisting him high in the air. “We’ll be on our way.”

Badger shook his head frantically and the grip on his throat eased enough for him to speak. “That ain’t fair,” he whined.

“And getting carved up by Jayne if you don’t is?” Mal questioned.

Badger looked at the knife in Jayne’s hand and the expression on his face and decided that he’d better cut his losses. “The drawer,” he directed Reynolds. “There’s a false bottom.”

Mal reached in and counted off what was owing to him and put the rest back.

“Hey,” Jayne protested. “How come we ain’t taking the rest?”

“’Cause we’re not.”

“From what you said we could use it,” Jayne unconcernedly dropped Badger on the ground and followed his Captain to the door.

“Wouldn’t be right.”

“It’s coin. Of course it’s right. Don’t tell me you're all noble like this all the time…”

Their voices echoed down the passage and Badger heaved a sigh of relief. He’d made plenty of money off this one so he weren’t going to press it with Reynolds. The crazy Captain was the one the thief relied on to take all the impossible jobs.

“Who’s the Captain here?” As they emerged from Badger’s lair, Mal finished the argument, or thought he did.

“You are,” Jayne said immediately. “Till you do something dumb then I can take over.”

“In your dreams,” Mal scoffed. “I aim to misbehave and go break the Doctor’s sister out of wherever she is,” Mal gave Jayne a reckless grin. “You coming?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Whether you meant all that stuff ‘bout me being on your crew and having a place to hang my guns and all,” Jayne flung an arm round Mal’s shoulders and patted his ass with his other hand.

“I did,” Mal returned the favour and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on Jayne’s lips.

“Shiny,” Jayne zipped up his jacket. “Let’s be bad guys."


End file.
